Love comes easy to people when times are easy. I mean look at the Bachelor. Everyone is in love on that show. But when times are hard, that’s the real test of love. And that’s probably why the couples on the Bachelor rarely last after the show. This test determines the strength of your relationship and the strength of your love for each other. How will your relationship fare when the days aren’t as bright and pretty? How will your relationship fare when you have trials working to pull you apart?
Bear and I experienced a small trial in our relationship. Since the end of June, we have been looking for a car. We weren’t looking for the perfect car but just a car. A car to get him back and forth to work without breaking down along the way. Every spare minute together was spent driving back and forth to dealerships and car lots.
In the beginning, we drove there with hope and joy about the search for a car. The ride home was replaced with disappointment and anger. Toward the end of the process, we learned to keep our hope tucked away. Instead of hope, we were full of skepticism and doubt any time we ventured out.
The constant disappointment started to weight on us. Bear is a usually jovial person but there were times when he would just sit quietly to himself. I could see that his mind was off somewhere. The struggle of finding a car was eating at him.
I was fighting my own frustration. I have so much on my plate, and I was beyond upset with all the time we wasted searching for a car. I took a day off from work. I put all my plans on hold so that I could help him. I put this blog on hold. I started to miss our carefree days spent lounging on the couch or traveling into the city. It hurt me that I couldn’t do more for him.
Things around the house were somber. We had moments of laughter but the mental and physical stress of car hunting was making it hard to be happy.
One day in the middle of deep thought, I realized that not once during this struggle had we turned on each other. Not once did we fight with each other about the situation. And there were times when I could’ve been a bitch about it. There were times when I could’ve made it difficult for him. There were times when he could’ve turned his frustration into anger against me. But instead, we worked together.
I mentioned this to him and of course, he shrugged it off. He saw it as no great feat but I am proud of us. No one wishes bad on themselves but I am happy that our relationship went through this test unscathed. It makes me feel confident that down the rode, when trouble strikes again, we’ll stand strong.